Lovely Jenny

The Lovely Sisters

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THE WEDDING INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX AND WHY I HATE IT

For a person that is not engaged I spend a lot of time at weddings, after all my job is to marry people. Most of the time I get to float around the fringes of the wedding industrial complex. I don’t have to deal with rude venue concierges, florists, wedding planners- I get to meet a great couple at the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge and walk with them to the center where we promptly get them married. When I DO see and meet other wedding vendors it’s usually at events like Toasted BK, where exactly ALL of the vendors were smiling, happy and friendlier than you can even imagine. So when I come up against the traditional wedding venue, older vendor set and they are unsmiling, grumpy and rude- I am shocked and appalled. For a number of reasons. Today I ventured to a number of venues to drop off business cards and make introductions. I then got a call from a man who runs wedding expos. And I capped it off with a trip to the Bridal Salon to try on dresses for Melanie’s wedding. A lot of wedding related stuff for a non-engaged person.

  • I am a future bride, as far as they know I am a current bride. So when I walk into a venue or a bridal salon LOOK UP. SAY HELLO. IN SOME WAY RECOGNIZE I AM A HUMAN. WITH A CREDIT CARD. I went into two places today where the women were on the phone when I walked in- that is beyond okay- what’s NOT okay is not even smiling in my direction. Put up one finger to show me you see me there. Give me the “go shop” hand wave. Literally anything. Instead both women acted like they didn’t see me. In a third place the man was with a customer and flat out ignored me. I thought I had entered the wrong way and was interrupting. Well done, you made a potential client feel foolish and embarrassed. Might I add all this happened before any of them knew that I am not a bride and was not about to drop anywhere between two and twenty thousand dollars at their business. I told the woman at Crest Hollow Country Club (so lovely, her and the space) that all the difficult people were making it really, really easy for me to edit out places for when I am compiling my own lists. Thanks, haters!
  • Planning a wedding is really stressful. I know from every angle. Know what doesn’t help stress? Dealing with miserable people. Will it alleviate all your agita to deal with happy, smiling vendors? No- but it will make the whole planning process a little nicer, a little brighter. Listen, I know we vendors do this all the time- bride’s anxieties can seem silly and dull to us. I get it, I am one of you [vendors]. But hopefully this is the bride or grooms only wedding. So would it hurt you to smile and act like you’re actually excited for them? Who cares if you don’t know them or they don’t hire you? They’re excited, it doesn’t cost you anything to share in that. 

Filed under weddings cheerleaderforlove cheerleader for love crest hollow country club long island

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Me:
wow, you're very helpful today.
Mom:
well I want to do you a favor. You do me so many nice favors for me.
Me:
well then I'd like to save it up for a more expensive favo-
Mom:
nope this is it. This is your favor.

1 note

Running around today. Stopped in at the @cresthollowcountryclub to drop off some cards. That place is gorgeous.

Running around today. Stopped in at the @cresthollowcountryclub to drop off some cards. That place is gorgeous.

4 notes

Hey girl! So a Whole 30 is a Paleo month long challenge. It was started by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig of Whole 9 Life as a program to reset, re-charge and evaluate the food you eat. My sister wrote a great post explaining the whole thing here. During the month of clean, clean eating you’re eating “very strict paleo” - not only do you cut out all dairy, grain, alcohol and sugar but you also cut out paleo things like honey. You are eating whole, good quality fresh foods. And you are eating a LOT- Whole30 wants you to eat 3 meals a day, no snacks. Meals are supposed to follow a template- vegetables a plenty and lots of healthy fats (they do allow ghee- clarified butter, but I can’t have that anyway). My mother is always really fascinated because she came up in the “fat makes you fat” generation and cannot change her mind to realize this is a false connection. Fruit is eaten with a meal, as it is better digested alongside protein and fat. 

The whole thing is meant to make you break your unhealthy relationships with food by removing foods and removing snacking. Even fruit is not meant to be eaten at every meal, every day. They say whatever food you’re most terrified of giving up is the food you probably need to reconsider your relationship with. Also by removing a large number of foods from your diet you can see if/what is making you sick (especially after the 30 days when you reintegrate)- an elimination diet of sorts. 
Most importantly I want to note that this is not a weight loss diet - it’s a reset. The goal here is health, not whittling down. They ask you not to weigh yourself during the 30 days. I find the less I think about loosing, the happier I am. When I’m eating clean I just feel good- like I’m burning clean fuel, like I’m really righteous. 

Hey girl! So a Whole 30 is a Paleo month long challenge. It was started by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig of Whole 9 Life as a program to reset, re-charge and evaluate the food you eat. My sister wrote a great post explaining the whole thing here. During the month of clean, clean eating you’re eating “very strict paleo” - not only do you cut out all dairy, grain, alcohol and sugar but you also cut out paleo things like honey. You are eating whole, good quality fresh foods. And you are eating a LOT- Whole30 wants you to eat 3 meals a day, no snacks. Meals are supposed to follow a template- vegetables a plenty and lots of healthy fats (they do allow ghee- clarified butter, but I can’t have that anyway). My mother is always really fascinated because she came up in the “fat makes you fat” generation and cannot change her mind to realize this is a false connection. Fruit is eaten with a meal, as it is better digested alongside protein and fat. 

The whole thing is meant to make you break your unhealthy relationships with food by removing foods and removing snacking. Even fruit is not meant to be eaten at every meal, every day. They say whatever food you’re most terrified of giving up is the food you probably need to reconsider your relationship with. Also by removing a large number of foods from your diet you can see if/what is making you sick (especially after the 30 days when you reintegrate)- an elimination diet of sorts. 

Most importantly I want to note that this is not a weight loss diet - it’s a reset. The goal here is health, not whittling down. They ask you not to weigh yourself during the 30 days. I find the less I think about loosing, the happier I am. When I’m eating clean I just feel good- like I’m burning clean fuel, like I’m really righteous. 

Filed under paleo whole30 whole 30 whole 9 pwpf

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I break my allergies/intolerances into 3 categories by my reaction to them: 
stomach reaction- things that make me feel sick, eg, eggplant, tomato seeds on occasion, and shrimp.
rash/itchiness reaction- duh, eg: pineapple, mango, strawberries. Super allergic to these guys, make me red and itchy
sinus reactions- foods that make me stuff up, get sleepy, have an achy neck and feel really loopy, eg: egg whites (raw), cows milk, potatoes, carrageenan, and grapes (now!).
it’s very distinct and clear to me when I can’t tolerate something because of my sinus reaction- it happens within minutes of ingesting it- though sometimes it does take me a few times to see the pattern and not just assume was tired. Like, I eat grapes at night a lot, so it’s reasonable to eat grapes and be tired, but I noticed a very strong time relationship and because of how I felt when I washed the grapes and then how I felt when I ate them.. it was clear.
Should also mention that most of these have been confirmed by scratch tests. The tests alerted me to the fact that I wasn’t suffering from fibromyalgia- I was undercooking my eggs and making myself sick. etc.

I break my allergies/intolerances into 3 categories by my reaction to them: 

  1. stomach reaction- things that make me feel sick, eg, eggplant, tomato seeds on occasion, and shrimp.
  2. rash/itchiness reaction- duh, eg: pineapple, mango, strawberries. Super allergic to these guys, make me red and itchy
  3. sinus reactions- foods that make me stuff up, get sleepy, have an achy neck and feel really loopy, eg: egg whites (raw), cows milk, potatoes, carrageenan, and grapes (now!).

it’s very distinct and clear to me when I can’t tolerate something because of my sinus reaction- it happens within minutes of ingesting it- though sometimes it does take me a few times to see the pattern and not just assume was tired. Like, I eat grapes at night a lot, so it’s reasonable to eat grapes and be tired, but I noticed a very strong time relationship and because of how I felt when I washed the grapes and then how I felt when I ate them.. it was clear.

Should also mention that most of these have been confirmed by scratch tests. The tests alerted me to the fact that I wasn’t suffering from fibromyalgia- I was undercooking my eggs and making myself sick. etc.

Filed under allergies whole 30 jenverindenver

10 notes

Whole30 In Review

So I just finished my third Whole 30, I say that because I decided it was over at exactly 9:30 PM this evening. I celebrated with a bowl of cereal. Because I love cereal. Love, love, love it. And I missed it for a long time when I wasn’t eating milk and also couldn’t locate a carrageenan free milk alternative (three cheers for Silk PureAlmond Original No Sugar Added!). So I celebrated with a bowl of cocoa puffs because it’s all we had.

This Whole 30 was by far my most difficult- for two reasons: 1, I had a lot of events and times where I had to plan and pack. 2, The more Whole 30s I do the more I find out I cannot tolerate and the more obsessed/needy I get over the few non-compliant foods I CAN tolerate (bread and non-sugary cereal).

During this Whole 30- between March 17 and April 14 I remained compliant during:

  • My cousins sweet sixteen at my Italian family’s favorite Italian restaurant. While everyone else was eating delicious pasta and chicken parmesan I had a salad and calamari cooked in tomato sauce (could be worse! Also, most of the normal food options were drenched in delicious looking cheese which I can never eat anyway). 
  • 2 days of a television shoot where they had tons of soda, pasta, Chinese food and every snack you could ever imagine. I pre-packed tostones with chicken and avocado and tomato on top and ended up meeting my dad at a steak house for one of the meals. What I ate was delicious and compliant- but it’s so hard to see snacks you love FOR FREE and unable to participate.
  • Dinner and drinks out with friends. I ate olives and was happy to be the designated driver. But really did wish I could have a sip of Andrey’s hard cider.
  • Multiple weddings scheduled right around meal times. I had to pack food for the train in order to get my compliant meal in. 
  • Buying Andrey a white chocolate matcha matsu bar from David’s tea. And then Andrey insisting he not eat it until we can both try it. So it’s been staring at me for weeks. 
  • Spent all day on day 29 at a wedding expo, Toasted BK. Pre packed steak, zucchini and plantains. Ate that while Andrey had cakes, burgers, pulled pork, etc. None of that bothered me until the wonderful women who ran the show brought around Cava AND hard Cider. And I couldn’t have either. And I have literally never, ever wanted a drink more in my life. But I resisted. Because, Whole 30. 
All that is to say it was a real challenge at times. On top of all of this it became clear during this Whole 30 that I am allergic to grapes. Which is really terrible because I love grapes more than most things.. like Andrey. No.. just kidding, love Andrey more than grapes. But it IS close. 
Am I glad I did it? Heck yes! After eating like a true maniac in London (everything! Including lots and lots of stuff I am allergic to.) I was so pleased to feel like I was making really good, conscious food decisions. It’s good to be challenged- even if that means you cry on the way home form Manhattan one night to your boyfriend about how badly you just want to eat cereal because you are so tired, and so hungry and have to be back in the city in 8 hours and you don’t know what you’ll eat for dinner when you get home. It was worth it, I feel healthy, I feel like I’m burning clean. And most of all, I feel like I really, really enjoyed that bowl of cocoa puffs.

(Source: lovelyatyourside.blogspot.com)

Filed under whole30 whole 30 whole 9 toasted brooklyn